I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
