Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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