Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize