We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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