I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
