***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
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