Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
