shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
