I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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