sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
