any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
