Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
