Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize