At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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