is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
