We're like a lot better than the average bears
Life is so much better after having sex.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
