on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
it's great music for shaving your balls
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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