So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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