You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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