dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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