Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
