Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
