How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
