so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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