i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
birth control should be required to get into college
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
