Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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