That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
