Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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