walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
