I met the friendliest cop last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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