Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
