I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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