They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize