your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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