Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
