I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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