You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Someone came in the potted fern
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
