whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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