may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
