We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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