his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
