used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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