Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
