I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
