I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i love accidental penises.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
