Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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