Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I intend to get homeless drunk
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
