i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
