I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize