I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
