Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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