Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
