Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
