It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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