I'm going to jail i love you
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
