Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize