I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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