I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize