Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
