no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
even my farts smell like vagina
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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