We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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