His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
