I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
