just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
